40 posts tagged “things that suck”

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

Black Sabbath

I have not said anything about my Uncle ... well... because there was nothing to say.
This is a huge problem.

There is a lady in the next room to my Uncle whom had an aneurysm a week ago and is now sitting up eating and talking to her family.

My Uncle stares at the ceiling... after the first week he stopped responding to the questions. He stopped trying to communicate with us.

The doctors are now taking him down from his medications. They want to be absolutely sure that a medicine is not causing him to be in this state.

Because... this is the point where they are assessing him and when they are done... in some undetermined amount of time... they will let us know if we should...

I am sorry... I cannot see straight through the massive amount of tears I am pouring now.

But what I am trying to say is that there might come a time now where we basically shut him down.

If those assholes at the first hospital had done something sooner, the pressure could have been off of his brain sooner... and he would have had a much better chance of existing in a cognitive state..  Instead... my Uncle laid in their parking garage for an undetermined amount of time.

However... right now... whatever is left inside of him... is not my Uncle. Is not the man I grew up with always and forever since day 1 in my life, who gave me my very first stuffed animal as a child, who showed me the wonders of movies and music and how to have a good time.

He introduced me to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Ozzy, Dio and Black Sabbath... he was the reason I was a metal head at a young age.

My Uncle was metal... he was a metal god.

Nothing new to report yesterday. Still the same.

What did I tell you?

My Uncle now is going through the Vasospasms.

Yeah, his condition is now "Guarded"

Oh and my wife and I cannot find where the potential water leak is in our house, she was just in the crawl space and it is VERY dry in there....

They are going to have to dig up our yard and rape me in the butt at $70/hour

Sorry kids... Christmas is canceled this year. The rest of our savings is going to pay for part of this.

FUCK .... everything.... just fuck it all.

Let's see...

• Pneumonia? Check
• Blood Clots all down the left side of his body including lungs? Check
• Back On Life Support? Check
• Knocked out tooth due to putting him back on life support? Check
• Contracted Aids somehow? Negative

Oh so he does not have Aids or Ebola yet... but I would not be surprised if that happens on Tuesday and Thursday respectively.

Could my uncle go through any more possible hell please?

My Uncle is now in surgery. He has a blood clot in his lung.

Wonderful eh?

This post is mostly angst ridden. Feel free to skip.

He is back off of life support.

And I will not be able to see him much over the next 2 weeks. Trips there almost every day has cripppled my finances and now with mortgage paid... it is either go to work or see my Uncle.

Seeing him right now scares me too.

2 Days ago when the life support was initially out and they took down his meds so that he could communicate... yeah... he is like a 4 year old at the moment.

I am the only one vocalizing the fact, and only silently to the wife, that my Uncle seems to have incredible brain damage. Now, what kind and for how long it will last I have no idea. It scares me.

Who can take care of him? My wife and I cannot... it is not possible with the size of our family.

My mother and sister cannot, their house is way too small and so is his place.

I feel like my family's entire world is spinning out of control... and to top it all off... we seem to have a leak in the plumbing at my house that we have to investigate. For all of the people telling me that God will take care of us... I still don't see it. Sorry, I keep looking up and I keep saying "If you are really there, please help us.." and there is nothing but silence and an entire ball of poo rolling down hill right at me.

I must be going mad... I am not sleeping well, nor am I eating well.

And honestly... the wife's birthday is around the corner and it seems that each year a shit storm hits us. I wonder if she will ever have a good birthday.

All I can do is keep moving forward. I tend to use this blog at times recently to vent as I try and keep it away from being in front of my mom and sister. They cannot see how absolutely broken I am when they are on thin strands themselves. I am trying to stay upbeat for their sakes. But honestly? I am crushed right now. I am so incredibly crushed.

When I walk through this someone will say "See, you weathered the storm. God was with you... he did not put more on you than you could handle."

I guess the only way I could prove them wrong is if I had died from a heart attack or killed myself... or perhaps began painting walls with my own filth.

They put him back on life support and they rescheduled his surgery.

I guess it was a nice try, but he suddenly could no longer breath on his own.

Crap... See how out of it I am?
It is day 8 folks... day 8... NOT day 7.

This goes to show you how out of our minds we are.

So today is the day.

The day to see if my Uncle will have the surgery or if they will attempt a second try to repair the aneurysm through the veins.

As of yesterday, my mother was telling me that they are still trying to decide. I will go back up to Vanderbilt after work and hopefully hear some news first hand.

I just wish that he would not be sitting in this coma, that we could talk to him... anything... something.

My mother told me that he now has a bad infection and I cannot help but think the worst.

I noticed I have not been posting this to Live Journal and as I can cross post... for my friends over there, 7 days ago today my Uncle went to the hospital with a headache. They shoveled him out the door with some crud about blood pressure and on his way to the car he collapsed from a ruptured brain aneurysm. He was life flighted to Vanderbilt and has been fighting for his life since then. If you want to start reading my posts to see what is going on... start with this one and move up.

All has been quiet from what my mother says.
With it being the weekend and my daughter's 14th birthday I am home and not at the hospital.

My mother has told me that he is now in a medically induced coma.

They have determined that the fix they did for the aneurysm is not working as intended. It is only half fixed.

Now, the next part confuses me and I will not be able to get any direct answers until Monday. They are going to remove part of his skull and repair this. They told us previously it was in a location that was inoperable and now they are going to attempt surgery.

So what does this mean exactly? What potential risks are they taking? If it was inoperable before and yet now they are going to attempt to operate... what exactly is going on that they feel they need to take this kind of a risk?

My brother said he thought they were not telling us everything and yesterday I would have continued to denounce his paranoia, but this decision is making me think twice now.