12 posts tagged “family”
I have discovered something that could turn the tide in any war.
Sun Tzu once wrote "Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys.
Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!"
So what better way to regard them as your children and at the same time send them into a berserker rage than to take them to Maggie Moo's Ice Cream Treatery?
Just make sure to keep the cotton candy ice cream and gummy bears monstrosity in a vanilla dipped and sprinkled waffle cone coming non stop and your army will begin to foam at the mouth and engage in a rage of divine proportions that would make Patton flee in stark raving terror. Your enemies would see the ice cream covered warriors charging down the hills with their blue stained tongues, hands and mouths and they would run over their own mothers to leave the battlefield.
They will crush the enemy and see them driven before them while they hear the lamentation of the women.
I saw first hand what such a horde can do, I took my own kids there yesterday. The sugar high kicked in within three minutes of the first bite.
My six year old began to shake and his teeth chattered at such a speed that there was a local earthquake picked up by the Tennessee Department of Geological Sciences that measured 4.2 on the Richter magnitude scale.
My two year old ran back and forth non stop while carrying wadded up napkins covered in ice cream, he moved so fast that it would have made Psychopompus himself proud.
My eleven year old sat motionless and calm however he hovered over his ice cream as if he were in Riker's, and the fire in his eyes... if someone reached in to take his ice cream, they would have pulled back a bloodied stump.
Oh the horror, the pure unadulterated horror.
It was enough to drive any H.P. Lovecraft protagonist insane from the first paragraph.
It is vital that the supply comes in fast and continuous, if you go too long in recharging their batteries there is this unfortunate result in what has been coined "The Crash". Once "The Crash" begins to settle in, there is no stop... they will just fall like a wet washrag anywhere... for instance, a chair, the floor, with their crayons clenched in fists and their noses in a coloring book or even in a sitting position held aloft by some unholy means while the Legend of Zelda plays on their Nintendo DS.
There is also the unfortunate side affect of addiction, when they come to from their crash they will ask non stop and sometimes in unison; "Are we going back there today?" or "When can I have some more?".
Be wary, your soldiers may turn on you.
My son, look at him, cute ain't he?
The wife mentioned how much he hates haircuts... and I had really long hair once, so we gave him the choice today...
The wife asked him... "Do you want to grow your hair long or do you want it cut?"
He says...
"let it grow out so that I can get the ladies..."
He is 6 years old...
I am doomed... he is gonna be popular with the womens.
Just some random photos from my Dad's house when we went for Kevin's funeral.
My heavy mourning period is over, I am no longer in this oppressive heavy mood. I went to Potty Mouth and Dora 's place last night and had a couple of beers and watched 'Super Troopers' and 'Idiocracy' and we just sat around laughing and having a really good time.
It was just what I needed after this week.
However I almost fainted when I looked at the bank account.
EGADS
Ah well... bills will get paid, be a bit late...
I can honestly say that I hate Christmas this year. Between the stress of everything and money and death and just... I really see nothing good about the holidays this time around.
I just need to focus on us getting through this and regroup in January. The wife and I will have the van paid off in February and that will free up money to pay off these small debts I have lying around.
As for now? I can only be patient and ask for patience from the electric company, the banks for the current van payment...
Hell, I am sorry I was not going to spill these kinds of problems in the open but I need to get it off of my chest. I cannot even buy the wife a damned Christmas present. That is the only major thing pissing me off right now. Prior to the funeral, Josie and I had finished shopping for the kids and so I am pretty relaxed about them.
I wish I could tell all of you that everything is going great with my step-mother. Yesterday she called me to ask me if I took a bag of stuff because I would think they would make keen gifts for my family.
Now, I understand her emotional state... however I was pretty pissed off. For the last thirteen years I have worked hard to get where I am and I get blamed for taking something.
When their house this week was filled with people and I was in the living room and kitchen for the last four days and I get blamed for taking something. Not the people smoking pot and getting drunk in the house or the known thieves in their house, no... me, the guy that had the falling out with them.
I cannot even begin to tell you how amazingly insulted I currently am right now. I am disgusted and angry and while I am not going to say anything right now to them directly so soon after the funeral, I guarantee everyone this I will, I WILL set the record straight about things in 6-7 months time and what happens after that is all up to them.
They, and I mean literally everyone in Wisconsin thinks that my falling out had to do with inheritance money from my grandmother. Money I told everyone I did not want. I told them I wanted nothing to do with ANY of it...yet for some strange wicked reason everyone thinks that is what our original argument was about. They think I am angry because I did not get that money, it could not be further from the truth if it had traveled a bazillion light years per second since the beginning of time.
No... I have to get this off my chest before I implode.
I went up there about seven years ago to pick up a mini van they were selling me for something like $600 and the deal was I would send them $100 each month to pay it off.
I made the first three payments on time and with no problems... then I got really sick and I called my dad and asked him if I could send it late. He could have said no and he would have received his money on time, but I called and asked and he was genuinely concerned about my health and forgave me my debt for a week. He had no problem with this.
Then literally the next week, the wife's cousins were killed in a car accident and she went to Arkansas to bury them and say her goodbyes. These cousins were as close as a brother and sister.
So I called my father again and he was shocked and expressed his sympathy and told me it was ok to send it another week late.
Then... she called. My step-mother called and was pissed. She wanted to know why the payments were late and I said "Oh I am sorry, I talked to Dad." I then proceeded to explain to her the incredibe misfortune we were going through and my explanation was direct and to the point and very kind. I did not have any attitude, I just wanted to lay everything out.
She demanded why I did not ask her and I told her that I am sincerely sorry I told Dad and she yelled at me and told me I knew full well that she handles all of the money.
I told her and tried to patiently explain that I did not know this and she told me that yes I did.
Ooooh... I would know this huh? Since when? I must be her financial planner. You see, I do not generally make it a habit to ask people how they spend their money, pay their bills, who is in charge or how much they make. Obviously a mistake I should correct. Funny me thinking that in a marriage the two people work together at all aspects of their life. So I am wrong... I will not make that mistake again, I am currently working on a form that they can fill out in triplicate so I have all of this information in the future. It will also include questions on fertility cycles and rashes in nasty places... I must have this information as well.
She said and this is a verbatim quote, what happened next is the reason we stopped talking and is the root cause of everything.
She said "If you do not send that money next week, no... actually... do not send the money. It is all ok, do not send the money and never come back here or call us again.... ever...."
I said "Now listen the fuck here" (Yeah I know, not the best way to say something."
She began to scream and scream and scream (This is surprisingly normal for her) and she slammed the phone down.
I told the wife what happened and I told her I would wait for dad to call me and we will sort it all out. I waited seven years. I have not seen or talked to my father until the other morning as he walked into the room after we arrived from our trip.
I would put my life on the line that those events unfolded EXACTLY like that.
There was no underhandedness from me, there was only honestly and a simple request from some patient help from my father. Patience I asked for and he granted to me. She had no right, she had no reason to call me the way that she did or to talk to me in that fashion. She could have called me simply to ask, but she lost her shit and spoke for my father and disowned me on the phone.
I should not have just wrote all of this out there...but you can get a better picture of my emotional state this week. I had to say goodbye to my baby brother and deal with awkward situations like this. Family members kept making comments the entire time about my problems with some mythical inheritance situation. I kept my mouth shut the entire time there and let them believe what they wanted to.
I was there to say goodbye to my brother, that is all that mattered right then.
I did not say anything simply out of respect for him.
I will set the record straight in the near future and when I do, the bomb will get dropped. I will tell them exactly what they did wrong... they were not aware or have conveniently forgotten or fabricated something new and it will end. Even if I have to cut off all communication with them again, I will not be dragged through this crap again.
I took my son, picked up my sister, her son and her boyfriend and then we went downtown Nashville to pick up my brother Matthew.
Then we headed up 65 North and took the thirteen hour drive through fog, through the night and smack center of an ice storm. It was a very harrowing journey through the lands of snow and ice and we pulled into the driveway at 5:30 a.m.
Prior to us getting to Wisconsin we had heard that my other brother had a broken neck, however it was only a fracture and he forced them to release him from the hospital. He wanted to be with family and friends and there was no way to argue with one of us Kellys when we have our minds set on something.
Then, my father walked into the room and there were more hugs and tears.
It was not long however when friends and family began to arrive. It was a bit overwhelming for myself and so I found a nice quiet corner chair and proceeded to sleep.
Monday eventually rolled around and we found ourselves getting ready for the viewing.
Matthew, Michelle and I froze. We stood in the back of the room and all we could do is stare forward. We were there over an hour before the doors officially opened.
But we could not move.
The funeral director suddenly appeared and made a bee line for my father and several people were following her. She had called earlier that morning and my mom and dad had given permission to the truck driver to come and say good bye.
My father and mother had given him their blessing to come early to make peace. We stared and watched this man embrace my father and mother and ask for their forgiveness. There was no forgiveness to give, my father made it clear that this was an accident and no one was blaming anyone.
It was hard to watch, this man was devastated as well. Having to live with this will be hell on him and my father I hope brought him a kernel of peace.
Finally we made our way towards the front of the room to watch a slide show of my brother and I started to cry when I saw that picture of me pushing their stroller around.
We sucked in our breath and I bit my tongue as hard as I could to keep from running, from screaming, from crying. I bit it until I tasted blood and I approached his casket.
I almost started to laugh.
My parents dressed him as he dressed in life. No foreign suit or clothing that he never would have touched. Instead they put him in this coat he bought a few days before his death. A white coat, gold trim with these little airplane silhouettes all over them. What an awesome coat this was and he wore his white knit hat.
My sister broke down and I bit my tongue again.
The doors finally opened and the friends and extended family began to surge in. Hundreds of people all slowly making their way through the room and the viewing went on and on for many many hours.
My father and mother walked me around and introduced me to everyone they could and I was once again in my life surrounded by all of my relatives. However this time instead of a handful of cousins, now I had stood in shock as my parents told me that the number of cousins I have is now 250....
The next day as an ice storm raged through Illinois and Indiana the funeral began and it was standing room only, there were so many people that it overflowed the overflow room, the corridors of the funeral home and even filled the outside of the funeral home.
It was a wonderful service and was filled with my family telling the craziest and funniest stories I have ever heard. Some of them I actually had heard before and even some where I had seen the aftermath of.
My brothers are hellraisers and there is a reason why Kelly means strife or troublesome. We are a family of pranksters and imps, but never ever mean spirited.
We were supposed to head home back to Tennessee after the funeral service, however due to the ice storm, we decided to stay another night.
It was on this day of darkness that we were filled with such light. My uncles, father and I sat around telling stories and dirty jokes while drinking beers.
Everyone else had a very large party in my brother's room.
We got together in this time of darkness.
We brought forth light and we are all richer because of this
I will never forget Kevin.
I have much to say over the next few days. Here are some pics of my brother, thanks to my brother Matthew who put these up on his MySpace page.
This is a blogging trip that is going to be awkward. I leave in a few hours for Wisconsin. I have to leave Nashville and pick up my sister and her kids and then go get my brother in Nashville and then head north.
I have maps I need to print out and a van to quickly clean out.
Bags to pack...
This is so incredibly hard right now.
I want to make sure I get all of my tears out. I am going there to say goodbye to my brother, check in on my other brother and support my family whom I have not seen in so very long.
I want to appear an island of strength and calm and be there for them.
But I fear the funeral and the family get together. It is one of these times I really wish I had my grandmother around.
I am taking my oldest son with me, be good for him to see his family. Where he came from.
I was checking the weather just now, it is in the single digits up there and it is 61 here. Better pack warm. Got my coat, my hat. I should get the wife to cut my hair and I should probably shave before I go.
Remember the other night when I was talking about posts that were horribly written and I was sleepy? The post I was in the midst of writing was about our experiences in life with the people who are with us.
I was trying to make the point that in life we are either a passenger or a landmark in other's lives.
That through no fault of anyone's really, we either go through a journey or we simply are a one stop landmark to them.
I went on further to write about how in my youth my family had these massive family reunions and that when my parents divorced, that all went away. How these reunions had massive amounts of family in them, we are talking 200 family members.
I then wrote how lonely I felt because I missed my family and that even though my one brother and my sister live here in town, I never get to talk to them or see them.
I wrote about how much I missed my father even though we had a falling out...
And now I sit here with this taste of ash in my mouth and my brother and sister and I will probably be leaving on a road trip tomorrow to leave Nashville and head up to Wisconsin to see my brothers... to see my father... and all of my aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews.
A reunion...
One that could have been under better circumstances. The irony is unsettling to me.
In grief we will journey there and I intend to reconnect with my family. Get those phone numbers and email addresses... to grasp on to them and to hang tight until my dying breath.
Perhaps some good can come from all of this.
Some bridges crossed and some wrongs made right.
Is fada an bóthar nach mbíonn casadh ann.
I sit here now, in full shock to my system. I am uncertain how I should be feeling or acting at the moment. I begin to cry and then it just dries up.
At 3:50 p.m. on December 6th, three miles outside of New London, Wisconsin... my brothers were involved in a car accident. A Larsen Transportation flatbed truck slammed into their car on the passenger side, instantly killing my brother Kevin.
Kenny was driving and while the article says he is in stable condition, the truth of the matter is his neck was broken.
Send a prayer up for us... sit in silence for us...
I can't stop crying.
http://www.postcrescent.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071207/APC0101/712070553/1979
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